chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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