And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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