Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
