im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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