So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
