I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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