just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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