Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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