I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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