He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
