The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
