No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dicks are not precious.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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