Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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