Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
