My friends, they love my intelligence
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That accounts for only three of the penises
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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