everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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