I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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