please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
