bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
