Porn is love you can see.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
