if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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