Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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