drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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