I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
