so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
