Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
