people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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