remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
