I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
