I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drunk is not a location!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
