Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
