You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
where are my eyebrows?
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