I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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