My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
