i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
