why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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