Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
