I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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