Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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