Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
