I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
