after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize