I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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