I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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