ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
