i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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