so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
