and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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