ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
