ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
