Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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