I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
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