so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
