if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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