So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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