Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
