yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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