you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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