Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
