Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
