I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize