It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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