I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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