sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
