quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
