Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
