I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
