So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
