Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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