I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
